What I've learned in 21 days...

1. Being a mother is the hardest job you will ever do. Going to work everyday and putting in 40-50 hour work weeks is a breeze. Mothers don't get a lunch break or even a bathroom break for that matter. Mothers can't leave the room or building when the stress becomes too much for them. You are a mother 24hrs a day, 7 days a week.

2. If you have any control issues you better check them once the baby enters your life. This child is going to be the most unpredictable part of your life. You cannot plan when they sleep, when they eat or even when they want to cry. If you think you can you will be setting yourself up for failure. Be flexible and go with the flow.

3. Being sad after the birth of your child is a normal response to a sudden shift in hormones. That being said, what you really need to know is you will spend the first 2 weeks of your child's life crying for no reason. After the first 2 weeks the crying will slow down and only appear on occasion. Again, this is a normal response so don't let yourself think you are horrible for being unable to control your emotions.

4. Postpartum depression is a very real disease. It is the type of disease that everyone thinks won't happen to them, until it does. Don't mess around, see a doctor and get some help. Don't hide the fact that you are having these feelings and you need help. More women end up depressed than not, you are not in the minority.

5. Plan on needing help for the first 4 weeks of the postpartum period. I know this sounds crazy but it is so true, especially if you start to have problems with depression. Have friends stop by, have parents come stay and help out, anything you need. Just make sure you have help.

6. Sleep deprivation will take on a new meaning for all parents. Suddenly sleeping for 3 hours is a big accomplishment. You will be thrilled when the baby sleeps through a feeding. The days will be a blur of fatigue and you will feel like you are in the twilight zone. This does not help with the emotions which are already in turmoil. Sleep whenever possible, if possible.

7. You are not a bad mother if your baby cries. Babies cry and sometimes there is no reason. Also, you are not a bad mother if you don't know how to make your baby stop crying. There is no instruction manual for babies so all you can do is your best and hope it is good enough.

8. There are experts who have studied many things but only you are the expert for your child. They do not know your child. Follow your instinct and go with your gut. No two children are alike so the experts can only offer suggestions.

9. There are many opportunities to doubt yourself and your parenting ability...don't listen to these doubts. You will do fine and the baby will be fine. Parenting is full of decision making so just do your best and go with your heart.

10. Worrying doesn't stop once the baby is born, it continues indefinitely. Every time the baby cries you will worry. Every time the baby doesn't cry you will worry. If they wake up too much you will worry. If they sleep too long you will worry. It is a never ending process.

Those are a few of the things I have learned in my first 3 weeks as a mother. Like I said, it is the hardest thing I have ever done. Our child is perfect, healthy and sweet and still it is hard. I now know why you automatically get 6 weeks off when you have a baby...you need about 20!