Stages of Grief

There are different stages of grief a person who has experienced a loss can expect to go through. The main stages were defined by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and are: 1) Denial, 2) Anger, 3) Bargaining, 4) Depression, and 5) Acceptance. Some stages that have been added, although not officially can include: shock/disbelief, guilt, numbness, disorganization and reorganization. These stages will be experienced in a very non-specific order, but most of these feelings will be seen. These stages have been developed as a tool to help people who deal with those who are grieving and also help those who are grieving. Kind of like a way to say, "what you are feeling is okay and perfectly normal". The problem being, nobody grieves in the same way as everyone else.

Why bring this up? I am trying to figure out which stage I am in and how soon I can expect my life to return to normalcy. When can I start my day without a huge burden of sadness and when can I close my eyes at night without visions of hospitals and death. Some normalcy has returned simply because life has to keep going on. Somehow I feel guilty for the normalcy, yet comforted by the fact that I won't be sad forever. I don't want to loose those random thoughts and memories that crop up during the day and night, however, I have to find peace with the situation and what happened. How can someone find peace with a situation completely out of their control?