Yesterday I lost a friend...
Yesterday I lost a friend. I didn't lose them in the sense of we are no longer friends, I lost them in the very real, very physical they are no longer here sense. I lost a friend who meant more to me than most people and unfortunately it took a tragedy to realize how much. I lost a friend I had not spoken too in 6 months and for that I will forever be sorry. I lost a friend I took for granted, a friend whose smile always cheered me up and whose laugh would light up a room. I lost a friend who was always on my mind and always with me, even though he wasn't.
I am not ready to talk about all the funny stories because they will never happen again. I am not ready to accept that his death has meant life for so many others because I did not know them, only him. I am not ready to admit he is dead because that was not him I saw laying helpless in that bed. I am not ready to stop crying, even though I wish I could...a part of me is gone and I don't know if it will come back.
29 is too young to die and yet he touched so many lives he should have been 80. Random violence doesn't happen to people like him, it happens to gang bangers and street people who live life dangerously. People who love and live with such passion don't die young, until yesterday when I lost my friend. So many things I wish I had told him, yet I think he knew everything...at least that is what I tell myself. Eventually I will be ready to smile and laugh about his little quirks...but not today.
posted by Michelle @ 8:53 AM
1 Comments:
I'm going to attempt to offer some comfort in your time of loss. I realize that this is typically an impossible task, but please read on for that sake. We've all suffered loss in our lives and are bound to experience the pain that ensues. For some it is a pet, some a parent, some money, and some like yourself a dear and loved friend. As a result, we struggle to find a way to cope and to find a place to put it in our lives. Obviously your friend leaves you and others with many fond memories....humorous times, shared experiences, and common loves in life. We live in the 21st century and Kubler - Ross tells us we have to process the steps of grieving. Very intellectual instructions for life and worth acknowledging. But I also find myself wondering, if these maxims are so enlightening, how did our ancestors and thousands of generations cope before we had these insights?
I find comfort in the past, in the ancients for my hints at wisdom and comfort. In the past when someone died, the Greeks asked not if the man had been successful, or had he been loving or evil, or had he been a great leader, militant, passivist, or even scholarly philosopher. The Greeks asked one simple question...."Did he have Passion?" I would seem to me that if you ask yourself this, you will find yourself answering resoundly that YES your friend had Passion. Passion in work, in play, and in friendships....even those that had challenges. Then ask yourself one more thing....What is the best manner for the memory of our friendship that I can honor my friend's Passion for life. I'm certain you already know that answer. Everyone's thoughts are with you at this time.
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