Work

Every now and then I have a patient that touches me emotionally. I'm not a real emotional person at work which sounds impossible to most people. Think about it, if I was emotionally involved with all my patients I would have no energy left for myself, friends or family. So staying emotionally distant is a necessity. Every now and then it isn't possible.

The patient I am talking about has been on the unit a while. Their whole life changed with one decision, in a split second they became a different person. Luckily this person was spared from knowing the details until about a week ago when we allowed them to become conscious. There is nothing more painful than the helpless look people get in their eyes when they realize how much their life has changed. I don't see people when they are at their best, I see them at their worst. Even if their worst is their own fault, it is still difficult to watch.

So this patient is now trapped in a body that is very different than before. Tubes have become part of daily life. The patient still smiles, laughs and cries. I took care of this patient again the other night when the patient was trying so hard to tell me something I couldn't understand. When we finally figured it out, the patient was wanting to know when they would be able to go home. A simple request for a very non-simple situation. With a tear in my eye I explained what had happened and how long it would be before home was a possibility. With a tear in their eye, the patient nodded an understanding.

As I drove home after that shift I thought about how fortunate I was to be able to go home.