Friends part deux

I have already posted about how awesome my friends are in a previous entry. This time I am going to talk about Friends (note the capital F). There is a difference between friends and Friends. Developing a relationship with your friends is easy, maintaining it to a Friendship is more involved. The most important attributes of a friend to me are; loyalty, honesty, loyalty, kindness, loyalty. Did I stress loyalty enough? If I am in a fight I want to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my Friend is there right beside me, even if I am wrong. Afterwards they can tell me I'm wrong (the honesty part). A Friend is always a phone call away no matter what the situation is or what you mood is. They laugh, cry and get angry with you...possibly in the same conversation.

So the hard thing about Friendship is the break-up. It is a lot like a dating or marriage relationship and takes a lot of the same steps. I am notorious for saying, "I don't care and why should I?" Much harder to actually believe when the statement involves a Friend (still easy to say). So if you have a friend that you have decided to "break-up" with it involves the same grieving process and grieving period as any relationship. You can't just get over it and move on, you have to take baby steps towards trusting and rebuilding. Of course the longer the Friendship has been, the harder the rebuilding is.

At what point do you sever the relationship? After a betrayal, after multiple failed attempts at communication...it could be anything or nothing. How about the friend who only calls when there is a crisis? How many times is a Friend expected to take on someone else's crisis without any retribution?

So basically a failed Friendship takes a grieving process just like any failed relationship. Maybe you just grew apart, maybe you moved away, maybe the reason is complex and too difficult to discuss. The point is you can't just move on, you need to remember and cherish those memories you have, after a while you can move on; and it is okay to moarn the loss, even cry a little.

I am blessed with the few Friends I have now, maybe one less but still an awesome bunch.