Intolerance

I ventured out during the day on my time off which is something I don't normally do. There are a lot of stupid people out in public during the daylight, especially morning hours. I have to wonder if working night shift for all these years has made me intolerant to the people around me. I have to deal with the public during my working hours, but to a much lesser extent. The traffic when I drive to work is generally heading in the opposite direction as me. So when I am trying to get somewhere and there is a person going less than the speed limit in the fast lane I can't stand it. Or when I am trying to park in a parking deck and the person in front of me stops because there is someone walking to their car who may get them a spot 5 feet closer to the door. Out shopping people will clog the entire aisle with a mini family reunion. Cell phones ringing in restaurants that people don't bother to answer. Have people always been like this? Have I just been a night shift nomad for too long?

Another quote

Two posts in one day, this must be important. I found this in my Oprah magazine; now everyone knows how much I love this magazine. A great article for anyone married or in a relationship...obviously that excludes my friend Jeff. Enjoy!

"When the last speck of fairy dust is gone, and you are married to exactly the person you married and not any fantasy of your own, you find out whether you have what it takes to make it through a few more decades of togetherness. It takes commitment, it takes forgiveness, it takes resignation and compromise but with all of this, you still have to feel tenderness. The person you see in those eyes that meet yours across the pillow, or the dining room table, or over the head of the child whose hands you hold-if that person still touches something wordless in you, you can imagine that there are still good parts left, still some surprises in the story. You can only find out what happens when you believe in love if you believe in love. " -Natalie White in Love with a Twist from Oprah Magazine, April 2006.

Stuff

Today was such a beautiful spring day. It was sunny and warmer than it has been. It is so much easier to be productive when the sun is shining and its warm outside. I cleaned out my car which was long overdue. Amazing what falls underneath the seats and between them. All the spilled Starbucks is gone, the coins collected and candy vacuumed. Looks almost like a new car now.

One of the great things about this time of year is making everything fresh again...and the spice jellybeans. I love spice jellybeans. Regular jellybeans are good, but with spice jellybeans you never know what flavor you are going to get. No more does color signify a specific flavor, it is anyone's guess. Spice jellybeans are tough to find and are only available during the pre-Easter season so the time to stock up is now.

I bought an iPod finally. I held out as long as possible but had to give in after playing with a friends iPod at work. This thing is awesome. I listened to it for about 3 hours today while I was cleaning and shopping. It will hold like 1,000 songs, so far I only have 750 on it. The best part is you can't hear the phone ring or people talking while you are listening to it so you really can be in a world of your own (my true goal in life, I wonder if I can take it to work). I'm looking for a great rollerblading place for this summer, my iPod is definitely going to come in handy if I actually find a place to rollerblade.

Family

My family is not very close. I don't look forward to family reunions, I don't hang out with my cousins during the summer. I don't even know the names of my cousins kids. My immediate family is close; my mother, father, and brother. I don't need to live near my family and actually I prefer not to ( 4 hours away is the closest we can live). I tried to be friends with one of my cousins who lived here in town last year and that didn't go so well for me. I prefer to kind of be "on my own". The flip side of that is I do need my family and they are important to me. I talk to my mom almost everyday, I talk to my dad before any large car purchases. We have a bond that is neverending and there is comfort in that bond. As much as they frustrate me, I love them.

A quote

I found this quote/article in Oprah's magazine and loved it so I am sharing it with everyone.

"'Never say never.' People like to say that. Why? Beats us. Some things really are impossible. And sometimes, just sometimes, you should say 'never'. Never round up when guessing someone's age. Never allow your friends to drink and dial. Never stop yourself from saying something nice. Never fake an orgasm (you ruin for all the women who don't). Never pass gas and forget to blame it on the dog (if available). Never deny yourself the last bite of something really delicious. Never neglect any area of a scratch-off lottery ticket. Never go to bed angry. Never sunbathe nude in India. Never chew gum in Singapore. Never eat cheap blowfish. Never go against your gut. Never be the one to break the news regarding Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, or any other personae with good reputations. Never decline a high five. Never trash recyclables. Never take your health for granted. Never hold onto old socks for sentimental reasons." -from Dailycandy A to Z: An insider's guide to the sweet life.

So what other 'nevers' are there? Does anyone know why you shouldn't chew gun in Singapore?

My cats

I have two obese cats. I love my cats, not like most people say they love animals or love the sunshine...I mean I LOVE my cats. They can do no wrong and act like they know this. So I am going to introduce everyone to my cats.

Clyde is black and white and weighs a smooth 19lbs. He was my first cat which we got after we bought our first house. He is 8 years old now. Pete bought him for my birthday from a cat adoption fair. As soon as I saw him I loved him. Clyde and Pete have a love-hate relationship but Clyde will always be my baby. He loves me unconditionally and I accept that love from him. He has this really cute little purr he does when he is really happy, usually when he is sitting on my lap.

Tyger is the tiger cat (not just a clever name). I got him when I took Clyde for his one-year vaccines and wandered through the cat adoption fair that was going on. I was smitten as soon as I saw him and brought him home. Clyde was not too happy about this for a few days but they have developed an "I will tolerate you because I have too" attitude with each other. Tyger is 7 years old and is about 16lbs. I call him my skinny kitty. He and I now have a love-hate relationship and he is definitely more fond of Pete. Tyger sits and stares at me for no reason which really creeps me out so I stare back at him. He isn't real smart but very lovable.

Both of my cats are funny and predictable. No matter which room of the house we are in there will be a cat in there with us. Except for the master bedroom which is off limits for all cats. The cats have their own couch, bed and chair to sleep on. They are very spoiled obviously.

Loneliness

Loneliness is the most powerful motivator for people to develop relationships. Somehow people, including myself, have become intolerant to being lonely. Now, there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone is okay and even good for a little down time and refreshing; being lonely is a strong emotion that stems from a lack in emotional connections to someone or something. Now, when I get lonely I look for people to chat with or I go shopping somewhere I will see people I know. Usually just talking to someone for a short time will quench the loneliness, but it isn't a permanent fix. Friends are a great fixer to the loneliness, especially friends you have known forever. Even married couples can feel lonely.

Sometimes I think people get in a rut of working, sleeping and eating; suddenly they wake up and realize they are lonely. Filling your days or nights with activity that is meaningless can put the feeling off but it will come back. Routines we get into make the loneliness worse...maybe I work with 9 other people who I know and talk too but do I really know them or do they really know me? I think people who are able to open-up and make themselves vulnerable can stop the loneliness quicker; those of us who are more guarded have to work at stopping it. A trade-off for being safe I guess.

More Ramblings

The crazy, busy weekend continued to Wednesday and Thursday at work. I think part of the problem is me being in charge, my new tan scrub pants are a jinx and whenever my friend Danielle calls me at work something bad happens. The really big problem is the full moon that has been occurring, or so I have been told. For some reason the whole city of Columbus is full of sick people, therefore all the hospitals are full to capacity.

So the really bad thing that happened is that one of our beds rolled right over the top of my foot. This was so painful I may have lost consciousness for a brief nano-second due to the pain. I hope I never experience that again, luckily I work with the best people in the work who got me a bag of ice and let me sit down for a while. It was strongly suggested I go to the ER (there was no MD at employee health on Thursday) since my toes were little sausages now. For once in my life I actually took the advice of everyone and went to the ER, what a waste of time. They told me to buddy tape and gave me Ibuprofen, 2 hours later. Luckily my toes aren't broken, I don't know how they aren't but I think it must be because I take extra Calcium or something. So now I am limping but it is getting better quickly, only bruised now!

Today is St. Patrick's Day and I am headed to the biggest Irish party in Columbus. Way too many people in a small area, I can't wait. No green beer for me but maybe some fun and dancing with the girls. I only have one night off so I have to make the most of it.

Pizza

Pizza is not something that should be taken lightly, in my opinion. There are many different types, some good and some bad. The absolute best pizza is a New York-style pizza. Not like the Pizza Hut NY style, I'm talking true NY style from New York City. Real thin crust, not crispy. The sauce has plenty of basil in it, cheese that runs off the pizza with the grease that is running off your hand. The only way to eat this kind of pizza is by folding it up so you can keep your toppings. That is a little slice of heaven.

I am bringing up pizza because of the lack of good pizza in Ohio. Donato's is the favorite local chain and it is not good pizza; for one thing it is cut into squares even though it is round. The sauce is bad and the cheese worse. The best pizza in town is Manhattan Pizza or Tarantos, but neither is a true NY style. When we lived in NJ there was a great pizza place about 2 miles down the road, that was great. I've been looking for the equivalent here in OH for about 2 years, if anyone has any suggestions let me know. Oddly enough Wilmington, NC had 3 great NY style pizza places; of course almost every one down there is a transplanted Yankee thank goodness.

Random thoughts from Michelle

I'm hopping up on my soapbox for a minute to talk about public restrooms and women's habits in these restrooms. There is a large population of women who have strong opinions on actually placing their bare behind on the toilet seat in a public restroom. What these women choose to do is squat over the toilet and urinate. There is a reason the toilet was designed for sitting; unlike men who can control the direction of their urine, women cannot. Sitting on the seat produces a seal to prevent the urine from going everywhere. Squatting breaks that seal and causes urine to go everywhere on the seat and floor. As a non-squatter I find this much more offensive than the possibility that I am sitting where another bare behind has sat. If sitting on the seat is that offensive then line it with toilet paper or those seat covers, please stop squatting over the seat...it is actually less sanitary than taking your chances and sitting. Better yet, hold your urine until you get home and squat on your own toilet, then you can clean it up just like I have to in a public facility. Stop the insanity, germs are usually harmless. I'm hopping off my soapbox now.

What a busy weekend at work. Here is an interesting scenario to wrap your brain around. We had a patient that was declared brain dead but we were going to harvest organs for donation so we needed to keep the organs as viable as possible. We worked our butts off on a dead person; a little freaky isn't it. Luckily we were able to save the abdominal organs so in the end it was actually working our butts off for strangers we will never meet, but still an odd concept. We need to do a research project on whether the weather affects patients and therefore affects the type of shift we have. Maybe the warm weather made every weirder than usual, including the nursing staff. I called upon my good friend Starbucks twice this weekend for support, even managed the extra shot of espresso with no problem.

Mother nature is just toying with us up here. It was 70 degrees when I was driving home this morning, it is supposed to snow tonight. We have had so much rain the last couple days I thought about buying a boat to get to work. I decided that wasn't a good idea, I have a phobia with boats. They seem to sink when I am around and that is a drag.

So the question is should I ignore my birthday this year or party like its 1999? Of course if it was 1999 I would be 23 like I tell everyone. I still haven't decided which way to go with this one. Ignorance is my goal in life so I may try to ignore the whole event.

10 years...

So this June my husband and I will be married for 10 years. June 15th to be exact. I was married very young, but when you know it is right why not? So everyone always asks me the secrets to staying married. I don't have any idea but I know this, he was my best friend long before he was my husband. I think that is what gets people through difficult times, you can always count on your true friends. I also think not having kids right away helped us too. We pretty much lived the life we wanted to, got all our moving and wildness out to prepare for the future. Now we are more settled than ever, scary thought.

We were married in upstate NY on one of the most beautiful days June has available. After getting married we lived in a total of 9 different places in 5 states. That is a pretty good track record when you consider we lived in our house in NC for 4 years. Now we have a house in OH, our second home purchase; not bad for people as young as us.

Do we have anything in common? NO. He is an introvert who prefers to stay home and be quiet. I am an extrovert who prefers to be anywhere but home and be as loud as possible. He likes sports, I don't (although I am better than I used to be). He doesn't like regular TV programming and I do. He works day shifts, I work night shifts. He is wonderful with money and planning ahead, I love to spend money and let the future take care of itself. He doesn't drink, I do. I love to exercise, he doesn't. Somehow we complement each other perfectly; he is more outgoing than he used to be and I am okay staying home watching a hockey game. I have even started learning how to play golf; my temperament isn't always good for golf.

I may not know the secret to our happy marriage but I know that there have been ups and downs plenty but the thought of him not being in my life is far scarier than any fight we have. Plus, I appreciate anyone who can live with me this long and still be somewhat sane.

Laughing

I love to laugh, it may be my most favorite thing to do. I love to watch funny movies, read funny books, hang out with people who laugh. If you make me laugh I will love you forever, yes I am that easy. Not only is laughing good for your health but it is fun. I have also found it helpful to laugh at someone who is trying to make you mad, it completely confuses them. It is fun to laugh at myself, maybe not the exact time whatever is happening has happend but later down the road. Like the other night I got my foot stuck between the elevator and floor while pulling a patient's bed; needless to say, the bed didn't stop and got me. At the time it hurt really bad and I thought my foot was broken...now it is funny (now that I can walk on my foot again without pain). My husband makes me laugh all the time and I make him laugh, the only ingredient necessary to make our marriage healthy and happy. My friends make me laugh all the time whether they live here or across the country. There is nothing better for relieveing stress and feeling good about yourself than laughing; and feel free to snort if you need to.

Vacation, kind of

I have always held onto the idea that as long as I am not at work I am on vacation. Even one night off is a vacation, with a few normal chores and errands thrown into the mix. Well, this week I have 4 days/nights off in a row, truly a vacation. I am going to get some stuff done that I have been putting off for weeks, spend a day doing only what I want to do and sleep. Not having to go to work is about the best feeling in the world, of course it is short-lived but I'll take what I can get for now.

Work has been slow which is good and bad. Good so we can have a chance to catch our breath and relax, bad because it is so hard to stay awake when you don't have anything to do. Why is it so exhausting to do nothing? Well, not nothing but there has definitely been some downtime during the night Our census has been so low that we have been taking trauma patients which I thought would be cool but is really no big deal. A patient is a patient.

I'll probably be headed shopping later this week to my favorite place called Easton and we are going to a hockey game on Thursday which will be cool...I can wear my new hockey jersey. Otherwise I may not leave the house, I can't wait!

Politics

Okay, I am going to talk about politics which is something I despise. I watched ER last night, I hope everyone else did as well. It featured Dr. Carter (Noah Wyle) going to the Sudan desert and helping deal with fugitives of the civil war. Carter's character asked of one of the other aid workers why no one had sent help for these hundreds of thousands of people being executed and tortured; the response was the because of the color of their skin.

Now I know that there is a lot of crap going on over in Africa right now with civil war, famine and a very jaded government system...forget the AIDS epidemic that is now infecting children. The response of skin color made the hair on my neck stand up, why aren't we helping more? We are so busy fighting a war in Iraq that will never be won and here are people who really need and want our help that we are ignoring. Is it because they have nothing to offer us? No oil or nature resources we find necessary? Or maybe because we are too busy arguing over who screwed up the Katrina response more, even in this country we can't help our own people even 6 months after the tragedy.

I don't know all the specifics about world news, nor do I want to know. I look at our government sometimes and I truly don't understand how we got into this position of only helping people who can help us, even to the point of ignoring our own citizens. A fine example is the poor state of the school system in this country, they are closing left and right up here, or increasing taxes just to make ends meet...the Iraq war budget is now at $86 billion isn't it? I think somehow the super power of the world has become super greedy and has purchased a large set of blinders to the real problems affecting this world and country.

Day dreaming

I love to day dream, or awake night dream while I am at work. I get this habit from my mother who is always dreaming. I dream about jobs, friends, money, strangers. My favorite place to day dream is at work. I can look out the windows in the patient's rooms and see downtown Columbus, at night it is beautiful. The highway runs right past the hospital and there is always traffic to watch, no matter what time it is. I like to imagine where people are going, where they are coming from, why they are driving at 3am. Just before shift change it is fun to watch all the day shift employees exiting the highway and pulling into the lots. I can watch the downtown fireworks on July 4th, see the different lights on the buildings (they change for holidays and special remembrances). I had a friend tell me that they only way she got through life was by dreaming, I thought she was crazy at the time but I am starting to understand what she meant. The world is not a nice place, except when I am dreaming. Reality doesn't suck in my world and it is always sunny.

Reading accomplishes the same euphoria for me. I can get involved with the characters in the book, almost believing them to be real. Once I start a book I can't put it down, I get that involved in the reading and story. I could read all the time and never accomplish anything so easily; I have to be so careful when I start a new book so that I won't be neglecting something.


Just a quick reminder that at this time last year we were in Cozumel, heading for Belize. Drinking yard maragaritas at Carlos and Charlies and sitting on the beach. Back to reality....it snowed today but not a lot, just a little dusting. I hear those azaleas are beautiful this year.

All work and no play...

...makes me tired and cranky. No I am not always tired and cranky so don't even go there. For some reason it is hard to sleep during the day, probably just a phase I am going through. I had some good nights at work so I can't complain about that; except I started two nights in a row by walking through urine that was on the floor. No job should start like that; my shoes squeaked for an hour.

So this is Lent. I was reminded of that by a friend and the morning show I listen too on my way home. I knew Lent was coming because of Mardi Gras, since my family has never observed or known anyone who observed Lent I don't think too much about it. I try to live a good life all the time and I accept my vices. I also know it is Lent because Wendy's has a special on fish sandwiches. Yes I do know that Lent is about making sacrifices, I started two shifts by stepping in urine and stayed the whole shift...that has to count for something.

So this is March. There is going to be a snowstorm where my parents live, we are just going to get rain. I hope that means that March is coming in like a lion so it can go out like a lamb. Who ever came up with that anyhow? I am still thankful that the weather has been warm and there has been no snow. About one more month and we will be in spring, I can't wait.